The Knot in My Heart Was Untied

The Knot in My Heart Was Untied

Zhang Xiaoguang

I was born in the countryside. My neighbor’s daughter, Damei, was born in the same year as me. We played together since childhood and studied in the same class until graduation of junior middle school. It could be said that we were childhood sweethearts. At that time, I thought: I’ll marry Damei when I grow up.

People in the 1990s pursued freedom of marriage. So when we reached the age of marriage, I expressed my love to Damei and she accepted. However, good times didn’t last long. One day she told me, “My father has known that we are dating. He ordered me to break up with you. He said we two families live too near, and you are short, and it would be laughed by our relatives if I went out together with you.” These words were like a dagger stabbing my heart, and I hated her father bitterly. Later, due to her father’s strong opposition, we had to part. After that, I was out of my head all day and had no heart to work, and sometimes, I drowned my sorrows in drink. Seeing this, a friend of mine comforted me, “Take it easy. Don’t be too crazy about her. I’ll introduce another one to you later.” However, his words failed to cheer me up, and I still kept thinking of her. In the midst of pain, I cried out in my heart, “We have grown up together from childhood and we love each other. Why can’t we be together? Why? Why is this?”

A period of time later, my friend really found me a girlfriend (my present wife). We got married, so did Damei. After marriage, I only looked down upon my wife, because she was introverted, and was less capable than Damei in working and was not as smart as Damei in dealing with people or situations. We often quarreled with each other, and even tried to get a divorce several times, but each time we ended up failing, either because the clerk was not on duty that day or because the clerk had no time to deal with our case. A year later, my child was born, but I still couldn’t forget Damei. At ordinary times, I would rather work alone than work together with my wife. When I was unoccupied, those romantic memories of my being together with Damei laughing and talking would often reoccur to me.

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Afterward, both my wife and I accepted God’s work in the last days. We often read God’s words together and fellowshiped our understanding of the truth, which made me feel particularly joyous in the spirit. One day, we happened to read the passage of God’s word: “Though everyone has their own ideas and personal stances on the subject of marriage, no one can foresee who will finally become their true other half, and one’s own notions count for little. After meeting a person you like, you can pursue that person; but whether he or she is interested in you, whether he or she is able to become your partner, is not yours to decide. The object of your affections is not necessarily the person with whom you will be able to share your life; and meanwhile someone you never expected quietly enters your life and becomes your partner, becomes the most important element in your fate, your other half, to whom your fate is inextricably bound. … Whether marriage itself brings happiness or pain, everyone’s mission in marriage is predestined by the Creator and will not change; everyone must fulfill it. And the individual fate that lies behind every marriage is unchanging; it was determined long in advance by the Creator” (“God Himself, the Unique III”).

After reading these words, I felt brightened in my heart, and the knot that had remained in my heart for many years was finally untied. I came to know that it was because of God’s sovereignty and arrangement that I didn’t marry Damei. I had thought that the marriage between me and Damei, which was out of our own willingness, was simply a matter of time and could not be separated by anyone. Unexpectedly, her father just didn’t agree, and he would rather break her legs than allow her to marry me. Unable to see through this matter in the past, I had been brooding over it, and even hated Damei’s father for his cruelly separating us. Now I have understood that the marriage of each person rests in God’s hands. Who will become the other half of our life does not depend on our own choices. Instead, it depends on God’s sovereignty and His preordination.

Seeing that today my family members have all returned to God, I have realized that the marriage ordained by God is the best. Though my wife is introverted and not good at talking, she’s kind-hearted, forbearing, and tolerant, and we are a happy family. Most importantly, we share the same objectives and the same pursuits, and walk the right path of life together, which is God’s greatest love toward us. My wife went to preach the gospel to Damei several times, but she showed antipathy to belief in God and couldn’t recognize God’s voice at all. She just refused to accept the gospel. I suppose, if I had married Damei, I wouldn’t be happy, for she might even obstruct me in my path of faith in God because she does not share the same belief with me. After reading God’s words, my wife said to me, “Thank God so much for His arrangements. See, our family all believe in God today. How happy we are!” “Yeah!” I replied, “This is God’s love. Only what God arranges for us is the best.”

Jesus Christ is God Himself. The Holy Father, the Holy Son, and the Holy Spirit, They are One. We can know from the bible verses, the Lord Jesus said, “he that has seen me has seen the Father….” (John 14:9) “I am in the Father, and the Father in me….” (John 14:10) “I and my Father are one” (John 10:30).