Son,
Mom Waits For You To Come Home For Dinner, Whether You Do Well In The
Exam!
Zhenjie
A
common saying goes, “The college entrance examination decides one’s
whole life.”
This exam is the key point which determines a student’s fate.
My son would have the exam the next day, but he did not take the time
to review his lessons, but engaged himself in playing computer games
in high spirit, and even burst into laughter for joy, as if he had
nothing to do with the exam. Seeing that, I was laden with anxiety
and worriment, like an ant on a hot pan. I thought: Are you like a
student who is going to take the college entrance examination? It is
all right for you to play at ordinary times. But you’ve got the
college entrance examination coming tomorrow. It’s really a major
issue related to your future and fate. Whether you are rich or poor,
noble or mean in the future will depend on the examination result of
tomorrow. Don’t you know? At this moment, every minute taken by him
meant great torments and suffering to me, for what he was wasting
were not only time but maybe a good future. Anxiously, I paced back
and forth in the room, thinking in my mind: How do I persuade him?
Should I shout at him, or reason with him tenderly? What if he is
disobedient when I speak to him in a gentle way? Before, I always
failed to persuade him by this means; he equivocated and said he
would play ten or twenty more minutes at all times. But, what if he
gets angry when I shout at him? This circumstance has ever occurred
before. If I disturb his mood, it will not be conducive to his taking
the examination tomorrow. In a dilemma, I had to go back to my
bedroom silently. I lay in the bed and replayed in my mind the past
fifteen years, from his going to kindergarten to his senior year in
high school. Every day he shuttled between school and home from
morning till night in all weathers, and also he had to deal with the
vast amount of homework every night and weekend. The hardest time was
the three years in high school. To finish his heavy homework, most of
the time he went to bed after the midnight and went up at about 5
a.m. Thinking of these, I had gusts of ache in my heart, feeling
sorry for my son. But then I thought: What can I do? Now, competition
goes much too fierce. Students who take the entrance examination for
high school are ranked in the whole county, and sometimes there will
be more than ten students who get the same score. As for the college
entrance examination, students are ranked in the whole province; it
is hard to count how many students get the equivalent score.
Therefore, even one point appears to be extremely important. Gaining
one more point, a student will possibly be admitted to a key
university. Conversely, losing one mark, he has to study in a common
university. No! As they say, “A last-minute sharpening can help
enhance the keenness of a knife.” On thinking of this, I sat up
quickly from the bed and intended to go to my son’s room.
Just
then, the doorbell rang suddenly. I opened the door and saw my elder
sister. After she came in and sat down, I poured out all my annoyance
to her. I had thought she would help me talk to my son. Beyond my
expectation, she said in all sincerity, “Sister, you need not think
too much! He has grown up, and has his own thought. Everyone has his
own fate. With regard to what kind of future and fate he will have in
the future, it doesn’t rest with tomorrow’s exam. And all these
are not controlled by your hands, much less can they be changed by
you. Just as you have been dreaming of finding a job in a big city
since you were little. However, does it come true now? Actually, you
still have to come to this small county? Was it because you didn’t
make efforts or struggle that you fail to realize your wish?” I
shook my head hesitantly. I did have this dream and ever tried to
fight for it, but it didn’t pay off at last. It made me feel that
an unseen Master orchestrates all things, and that nothing is decided
by me.
My
sister took out a book from her handbag, and read a passage of words
for me, “Some people choose a good major in college and end up
finding a satisfactory job after graduation, making a triumphant
first stride in the journey of their lives. Some people learn and
master many different skills and yet never find a job that suits them
or find their position, much less have a career; at the outset of
their life journey they find themselves thwarted at every turn, beset
by troubles, their prospects dismal and their lives uncertain. Some
people apply themselves diligently to their studies, yet narrowly
miss all their chances to receive a higher education, and seem fated
never to achieve success, their very first aspiration in the journey
of their lives dissolving into thin air. Not knowing whether the road
ahead is smooth or rocky, they feel for the first time how full of
variables human destiny is, and so regard life with hope and dread.
Some people, despite not being very well educated, write books and
achieve a measure of fame; some, though almost totally illiterate,
make money in business and are thereby able to support themselves….
What occupation one chooses, how one makes a living: do people have
any control over whether they make a good choice or a bad choice? Do
they accord with their desires and decisions? Most people wish they
could work less and earn more, not to toil in the sun and rain, dress
well, glow and shine everywhere, tower above others, and bring honor
to their ancestors. People’s desires are so perfect, but when
people take their first steps in the journey of their lives, they
gradually come to realize how imperfect human destiny is, and for the
first time they truly grasp the fact that, though one can make bold
plans for one’s future, though one may harbor audacious fantasies,
no one has the ability or the power to realize his or her own dreams,
no one is in a position to control his or her own future. There will
always be some distance between one’s dreams and the realities that
one must confront; things are never as one would like them to be, and
faced with such realities people can never achieve satisfaction or
contentment. Some people will even go to any length imaginable, will
put forth great efforts and make great sacrifices for the sake of
their livelihoods and future, in attempt to change their own fate.
But in the end, even if they can realize their dreams and desires by
means of their own hard work, they can never change their fates, and
no matter how doggedly they try they can never exceed what destiny
has allotted them. Regardless of differences in ability, IQ, and
willpower, people are all equal before fate, which makes no
distinction between the great and the small, the high and the low,
the exalted and the mean. What occupation one pursues, what one does
for a living, and how much wealth one amasses in life are not decided
by one’s parents, one’s talents, one’s efforts or one’s
ambitions, but are predetermined by the Creator” (“God
Himself, the Unique III”).
After
reading, she said, “Our destinies are in God’s command. The
Creator’s sovereignty over and arrangements for everyone’s fate
is unable to be changed by anyone. What occupation we take up in our
life, and by what means we make a living are not up to ourselves, nor
can they be changed by knowledge, status or money. Take what we see
in real life for example. Some people are not highly cultured but can
write books and are well-known, like Mr. Han, a writer who wins great
popularity on the Internet these years. Despite graduating from a
senior high school, he has written many novels, prose, and essays.
And these writings are very popular with numerous high school
students and young people, some of which have even been translated to
film. This lies in God’s arrangement for his fate, rather than in
the foundation of his diploma. And like our cousin, He dropped out
after the second grade. But now he does very well in his business and
has been a boss, driving a good car and living in a luxury house.
Whereas, some with college diplomas are destined as employees.
However high the diplomas they have got, that can’t help them
change their fates.” I couldn’t not be convinced of her words. I
said, “Your words remind me of a hot topic ‘A graduate from
Beijing University sells pork’ on the Internet some time ago. As an
outstanding student from Beijing University, I think, he should be a
white or gold collar, or someone doing scientific research. How come
he embarks on the road of selling pork? And as such, it’s his life,
his fate. What way should we walk, what vocation we do and by what
means we maintain our livelihood are all not up to ourselves, nor
depend on our choices or our education and caliber. It can be seen
that man’s fate is indeed ruled by God.” My sister said
delightedly, “Right! Our fates are all in the hands of the Creator.
What way Qiqi (my son’s name) will take and what occupation he will
go in for in the future are also in the hands of the Creator and not
controlled by us. These years, in his study, you have pressed on him
too much, and you also suffer a lot. Now, it’s time to let him go.
Don’t force him to struggle for a good mark in the exam. All you
have to do is do your best in everything. God says, ‘Only
when one accepts the Creator’s sovereignty, submits to His
orchestrations and arrangements, and seeks true human
life,
will one gradually break free from all heartbreak and suffering,
shake off all the emptiness of life’
(‘God Himself, the Unique III’). So, we should pray to God, and
learn to obey His arrangements. In this way, you can live in
relaxation and freedom.” She told me that the words she had just
read for me are said by God, and that she didn’t understood these
things until she read God’s words. At this time, my anxious and
uneasy heart calmed down little by little. I sensed that these words
are quite true. Now that our future and fate are ruled and arranged
by God, I ought to let go of my son, turn him over to the hands of
God, and submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements, for my plan,
worriment, and anxiety cannot decide my son’s fate.
After
my sister left, I went into my son’s bedroom, and saw he had
already fallen asleep. Seeing that some beginning beard faintly
shadowed his childish face, I felt time really flies! Since he
started to go to school, I had been keeping an eye out for his
academic records, regarded his achievements as my life, and treated
him as a studying machine. Not until today did I become conscious of
that I had been too severe on him before. At the moment, I said to my
son silently in my heart, “Son, I will never force you to study.
Just try your best. Today, I know whether we have good or bad fates
is not in our own hands, but depends on the predestination and
arrangements of God. Son, no matter how the exam ends, I will wait
for you to come home for dinner.”
In
the evening, I prayed to God according to what my sister had taught
me, committing my son’s fate into God’s hands and allowing it to
be controlled by God. I felt as if a heavy load had been lifted from
my mind, and I no longer felt pressured in my heart but felt relaxed
and released completely. For the first time, I slept easily and
peacefully at night during these years.
After
the exam and before the result came out, my sister often came to read
God’s words for and fellowshiped God’s will with me. With regard
to my son’s exam result, I didn’t feel as worried as before but
felt much at ease, and was able to face it calmly, whatever the
result would be. Unexpectedly, after the score came out, it turned
out my son was admitted to a university. Hearing this news, I was
much calmer than before. As I knew that my son’s being able to be
admitted to a university was because of the predestination and
sovereignty of God, instead of human effort. What’s more, I was
clear that this result did not mean his good prospect or fate in the
future, for everyone’s fate is in God’s command, which is unable
to be predicted by anyone, let alone a report card. By reading God’s
words, I now understand that man’s living is not to plan and worry
his own or others’ future, but to know, accept and obey the
Creator’s sovereignty and arrangements. In this way, we can attain
freedom and liberation, and face life calmly. This is the very value
of life!
Jesus Christ is God Himself. The Holy Father, the Holy Son, and the Holy Spirit, They are One. We can know from the bible verses, the Lord Jesus said, “he that has seen me has seen the Father….” (John 14:9) “I am in the Father, and the Father in me….” (John 14:10) “I and my Father are one” (John 10:30).
